Oct. 8th, 2017 07:11 pm
splix: (isabella blow)
Jesus. It's October already.

Anyway, I've been down for the count all week. I had my [I hope] last chemotherapy on Monday and as predicted, it was the most potent one of all; I was out of work all week. I could barely lift my head off the goddamn pillow and when I did it was to go to the fucking bathroom. And I felt every bloody moment of it thanks to some wicked insomnia, which was lovely. I only started to feel human yesterday. Again, hope it was the last time. I get a CT scan around the 23rd or so, fingers crossed. The metallic taste from the chemo is still lingering, which blows - let's hope that goes away soon, because that is so gross, ugh.

Here's some TMI for you. )

I didn't manage to do much reading or TV watching while I was down for the count because I felt too gross - mostly superficial stuff. I did watch Lady Gaga's documentary Five Foot Two on Netflix and liked it quite a bit, so much that yesterday and today I binge watched all of American Horror Story: Hotel. I haven't watched an AHS since Asylum and quite honestly, it's not exactly my thing, but I admit I ate it up with a spoon. It was sooo gory, Jesus. But I loved Gaga, and I loved Evan Peters, who did a note-perfect 1930s movie-style character intonation, and god DAMN Matt Bomer is pretty. And Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates are always great. And there was a good female to male ratio of characters, which I appreciated, and a lot of non-traditional sexuality. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like horror or can't handle a lot of blood or violence, because there is plenty of both, sister. But it was well executed [haha see what I did there] and stylish and Halloween is right around the corner.....

Right before I got chemo I went to see Battle of the Sexes which I enjoyed very, very much indeed. Emma Stone and Steve Carell were marvelous, and Elisabeth Shue and Andrea Riseborough [always a perfect chameleon] and Sarah Silverman and Alan Cumming were excellent in supporting roles.

I am SOOOOOO looking forward to Dr. Marston and the Wonder Women. I am meh on Luke Evans, but Rebecca Hall in a bondagey woman-man-woman three-way? YES PLEASE.

As for the things I have read recently and not recorded.....

I finally read Sleeping With the Enemy, about Gabrielle Chanel's experience as an Abwehr agent, code-named Westminster. I never was much of a fan of her prescriptive maxims, though I like some of her fragrances and clothing designs. She is certainly not to be admired as a human being, however creative she was as a couturiere and creator of fragrances and accessories.

Working Stiff by Judy Melinek, MD, about her life as an NYC medical examiner. Fascinating stuff! Definitely not for the faint of heart. An especially heartrending rendition of her time as an ME for the city during the 9/11 crisis.

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. Saw the movie ages ago - I want to say something like 2012. The protagonist, Eva, is even more unpleasant in the book. She's chilly, arrogant, racist despite her extensive world travel, mildly homophobic despite her self-perception of being highly liberal. It was an instructive example of an unreliable narrator. A very well-done book, though not at all a settling or happy read. I was going to re-watch the movie but the book shored up all the memories of the movie and so I think I won't need to do that.

Hunger by Roxane Gay. I've been wanting to read this for a long while. Roxane Gay was raped at the age of twelve and developed a serious binge-eating disorder that still isn't 'solved' and having endured something very similar I was very curious to read of her experiences. It's gotten a lot of amazing press. Unfortunately, I've read one other book of hers - Bad Feminist, I think? - and I'm just not a big fan of her style. A lot of short, choppy sentences, a lot of repetition, a lot of what seemed to me to be deliberate ambiguity [in a memoir? I dunno, I guess it was a stylistic choice] and in short, as with other work of hers I've read, it sort of felt like a barely edited first draft. I was disappointed.

Maximum Insecurity: A Doctor in the Supermax by William Wright, MD. Nonfiction. A great premise - an ENT is bored and looking for a new path and becomes a GP in a Colorado supermax prison. Unfortunately, this guy is King Douchebag of Douchebag Mountain and most of the stories he tells are about how he foils all the scammers who are trying to get extra Percocet or new mattresses out of him. Now, it's prison, and most of the people in supermax prisons are no doubt genuinely hard cases and I'm sure a lot of them are scammers. But those were 99.9 percent of his stories. The other .1% was about what a shitty bureaucracy prison administration is. What a ray of sunshine this guy was, and with a superior attitude to beat the band.

[Now, I've wended my way through the medical system for a few years now and while obviously I haven't met the world, I will say that the majority of medical providers are pretty much okay folks. There are a couple that I can say I've disliked.

--My pulmonologist, a grey pony-tailed Porsche-driving bag of dicks who, on the day of my hysterectomy, came to see me two hours after surgery while I was still majorly fucked up on morphine and demanded "Why are you talking in that wheeny-whiny voice?" I was flabbergasted. [two years later I saw him in a hallway and he said hello to me, not recognizing me. I'd changed a lot. I said hello politely, but it was all I could do not to kick him in the balls]

--The attendants at the rehab clinic I went to after my MRSA crisis. They straight-up ignored their patients. I remember hearing a man calling and calling for someone one night. I went out to the desk to tell someone finally, and they rolled their eyes at me. He died that night. Awful place.

--One therapist, who was also a nutritionist and who had no interest in why I had an eating disorder but who couldn't understand why I just couldn't eat less and exercise more! Easy peasy! -_____________-

--And my first oncologist, who, credit due, saved my life, but who then got caught in a gross sex scandal in his office practice and got fired and sued because of it. Jesus.

But on the whole, the people I've dealt with in medicine have been kind, patient, and genuinely interested in helping me to heal. So reading this guy's asshole attitude really got my back up.]

Finally, How to Pack a Party Dress by Amanda Brooks. I thought it was going to be a fun fashion how-to romp, but it was a half-assed memoir by a woman who had no idea how super-saturated her privilege was. Ugggggh. I'd review it more thoroughly, but this review on The Cut is much more pointed and funnier than I could manage:



Anyway, autumn is here at last!!! The days are much cooler, and the nights are positively chilly. Best of all, I can wear fall clothes again! Yesterday I pulled out my fall wardrobe and perfume, joy of joys, and when I went to work week before last I wore a few things that I had bought over the summer, so I will post them, below the cut.

As always, beware my photography skills. I am the human embodiment of the AO3 summary "this sucks LOL" except it's not false modesty.

fall, glorious fall )


I've been too dragged out to write. I go to New Orleans this Saturday and return on the 18th I think? So I'm shooting to finish the fic by November 1. Time to get my ass in gear then and start researching my Sherlock fic. I'm starting to amass titles of books to read in preparation, and I'm getting excited, but I can't get too excited while I've got another fic going because I don't want to lose momentum.

I've taken a Xanax and a hydroxizine so I can sleep tonight as my sleep has been erratic at best. I'm going to go shower, and then scroll through MakeupAlley and Fragrantica before I go to sleep. If I can get seven good hours I'll be delighted.

Have a swell day or night.

October 2017



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