(no subject)

[splix]

Hiya all.

A LOT has been happening. I just got back from hosting write_out in Albuquerque where we watched some good TV [Good Omens - v. enjoyable! and Chernobyl - horrible but so gripping we watched the whole thing in one day] and went to some kick-ass restaurants. We discovered Duran Pharmacy [in the same sense that Christopher Columbus discovered America] and had the MOST amazing, biggest goddamn burritos I've ever had in my whole life. Yum.

Then we went to Con*Strict from Thursday to Sunday. It was so great to see familiar faces - and familiar faces that I haven't seen in freakin' AGES. I didn't go to many panels but enjoyed the ones I did attend, and on Saturday night I played a game with a bunch of folks and had a grand time. It involved giving three answers to a question in five seconds. NOT easy [except for Write_Out who seems to have a knack for quick thinking on the fly]. Fun though! The vid show was also really good this year and I plan to seek a couple of shows out based on what I saw. It was a good time.

*

Now my other news. I'm going to be leaving my job in two weeks to begin home hospice care. I had a CT scan a couple of weeks ago and met with my oncologist today. We agreed that every possible protocol has been attempted and that at this point, comfort care is the best option. She has given me a timeline of two to six months, while admitting six months might be a bit on the generous side given the rate of tumor growth.

It's a little surreal, but on the other hand, I've been low-key preparing for this for the better part of the year. Right now, I'm okay with it. I'm tired, you know? I want to hang with my dog, read some books, watch some stuff I never got around to watching. I had been planning to go back to New Orleans at Christmas, but that's not going to be a viable option, so I'm just going to be quiet and nesty. I am going to try to get rid of almost everything I own - clothes and whatnot. Maybe I should have a yard sale. Eh, too much effort.

Right now I am going through mountains of HR paperwork. It's complicated to die! But at least I should be financially comfortable given my access to catastrophic leave and disability. Funny - I've always been in a fiscal state of broke or close to it, and now I don't really have to worry about anything. C'est la vie, I guess. I told my boss and the dean, and word seems to be getting out because I've been getting a lot of people stopping by to give hugs and such. Better than me telling people myself, honestly. I don't mind people knowing, but I don't want a goodbye party or anything fussy. I'll see myself out, thank you. Tomorrow I meet with the hospice folks to discuss how everything is going to go down.

I can't think of anything more to say about it, really. I'm happy to answer any questions if you're curious about anything. I should probably also say, in case I forget later, that you all are fantastic folks and it's been a privilege to know you. Some of us go back twenty years - a long damn time.

Okay, that's it for now. I hope everyone is having a swell day and night.

Comments

[magnetic_pole]

Oh, S. *HUGSHUGSHUGS* I'll be back, but just *HUGS* for now. M.

[lauramcewan]

I just can't. It's wholly unfair and wrong. :(

I'm glad, though, that things are getting in order and you have so much support.

<3

[vulgarweed]

I'm in awe of you, the way you're facing this with such calm and clarity. You're in my thoughts and I'm so furious you have to go through this but I'm just...respect. Huge respect.

[temve]

This. So glad you were able to make it to Vegas this past weekend, and that you had a good time... my life has definitely been made richer by the addition of you, so thank you for being in it. And I wish you the best possible end-of-life vacation. *hugs*

[clevermanka]

I'm so glad you were able to spend the weekend with us at the con. I hope the next few months are as gentle as they can be, you know...considering the spectacularly shitty circumstances.

ETA: I wasn't sure whether to include this in the comment, but I figure you're you and you know me and you still like me, so I'll go ahead and say it. Roses of Picardy is my number one comfort fic. It's helped me get through so much of my own personal woes, health and emotional. But I don't think it's gonna work for this particular instance. And that's funny and heartbreaking and a whole load of complicated shit. I will always appreciate you and your friendship and how much you (and your fic) have been there for me. Thank you.

[write_out]

Those burritos! I can't believe we ate the whole thing. TWICE.

I'm wrapping you in all the love and light and snark I can muster up (and you know I have A Lot). I'm so, so relieved you can take money stress right off the table and spend your time on the important stuff.

All I can say right now is that I adore you. I am grateful for you and your friendship and all that it has given me and I love, love, love that we have had so many good times together.

[threeplusfire]

I am grateful that you don't have to spend this time working.

Are you going to want any visitors?

[threeplusfire]

Also holy shit, CHERNOBYL. I watched it even though I knew it was going to scare the hell out of me and I loved it?!?!

[ancientreader]

Well, shit.

I have thought the world of you from the very first time I read your writing, and all the contact I've had with you since, our occasional emails & messages & exchanging comments here, has meant a lot to me. I have loved your wit, your honesty, your vulnerability, your outrage at things that a person is rightly outraged at, and, well, just everything.

I don't know how much time & energy you'll have for those of us who aren't the closest to you, but if it would be welcome to drop you a line from time to time just to say hi & I'm thinking of you, I would like to do that. Obviously not in view of a reply, save it for your nearest.

I hope your time is easy and comfortable and full of well-deserved love.

[book7brokemybrain]

I was waiting to see if you were going to do a birthday post so I could add my good wishes to it. Well, happy birthday! I hope you celebrated, maybe while with your Con friends. (Was it your actual birthday, or just a fictional date associated with your pen name? Regardless...)
I'm glad you got to see Good Omens, because Aziraphale and Crowley are love incarnate, and wonderful creatures to spend time with. Michael Sheen's lovely little faces and exclamations of enthusiasm resonate with me ("That was scrumptious!"), as well as watching a drunken Crowley trying to say bouillabaisse.



I'm so very upset about your news. I'm very glad you have things in hand to control your future they way you want it. You have Nina there, and all your friends around you in the ether, if not in person. We've never met, but you mean a lot to me. *HUGS YOU HARD*
Please give Nina skritches from me, as per usual.

Much love, Jeanette

[shadowfireflame]

Thank you for the update. All the hugs in the world to you. I hope you get to relax and enjoy some of the things you didn't have time for earlier.

Please just know I'm thinking of you. I re-read your beautiful writing all the time and enjoy it so much. <3

[thalia]

{{hugs}} I'm glad I got to see you this weekend. Give Nina lots of scritches. You're pretty fantastic yourself.

[donut_donut]

I have no words for this, but I'm reading and thinking of you.

[obi_ki]

Hugs. I cherish the times we got to hang out together over the years. I'm glad you will get to spend the time doing the things you want to do.

[klingonpoo]

You are amazing and I’m thankful I got to spend time with you in Vegas. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of love and hugs.

[sian1359]

Fuck, lady. I sorry I didn't spend more time with you last weekend, but I'm so glad you were able to make it out to spend it with us. Like all of us here, I love you and am so grateful for the friendship we've shared.

[jediartemis]

Oh, Poppet, you mean the world to me!!!!

There's so much I want to say, but damn it's hard at the moment. Can you imagine me lost for words? lol

You are a GIFT to me and everyone who knows you!! And even this post is classic you... witty and brilliant, and so full of grace.

And it all began, what... 20 years ago? Thanks to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan!! I bless fandom for bringing you into my life!!

I would LOVE to visit you, and talk and laugh for hours like we always do! But I am always happiest when I can make you happy. So whatever you need, Dahling, and is best for you.

You're the BEST FRIEND a girl could ever have!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, POPPET!!!!

Di

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

[ell]

You are strong and amazing and I am so glad to have gotten to spend a little time with you at the con (5 seconds is really not enough time for my brain to function, though).

You are brilliant and loved

[micehell]

They say you regret the things you didn't do, and I certainly regret never figuring out a way to meet you in person. But even without that, I'm so happy that I met your quick mind and your great personality, and that I get to think that someone as awesome as you is a friend in whatever way.

No one would believe I'm religious, of course, but have my heathen prayers that things go as well as they can... and that every show you have on your to watch list is fantastic. ;)

[elayna]

I am so very sorry to read this and that you are having to face this decision. I am grateful that I have known you, and that you were able to make Con*Strict. It was good to see you. I hope you are able to enjoy relaxing and hanging with the adorable Nina. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[mrshamill]

I'm... without words. I'm so glad I got to see you at Constrict and so full of impotent rage at what you're going through. I know life isn't fair but still, you're one of the best people I've ever met and... I can't.

Sending all my love and whatever strength I've got to you.

[recently_folded]

I've only been peripheral to your world although a fan of your writing for some time. As someone else who has cancer, all I can say is being free of financial concerns, affairs in order, and in the hands of a caring hospice agency is the best of what we all hope for in the end. I'm crying right now, for you and for me and for my wonderful old cat who left us this week due to her breast cancer and for all of my friends who've gone ahead of us down this final path. May your coming months be very gentle with you.

[ribby]

Oh Alex... on the one hand, I'm glad you've got everything in order so you don't have to worry. On the other hand, I can't imagine my online life without you! There's only a few folks that I've stayed friends with from the VigBean days, and you're one of them.

Which is to say, you've been a lovely part of my life for a long time, and I'm so glad of it. *hugs you tight* Give Nina all the scritches, too, and virtual hugs from me.

~Kris

[colorfulshadows]

I don't even know what to say. I love you. You are one of those people I feel blessed to know. This sucks. I'm glad you went to Con*Strict and I'm glad you have Nina and I'm glad I was there in April. I'm reading Radium Girls; it's as good as you said. I want to drop everything and fly out there and just help. While I don't think I can do that, I do want to help in any way that I can. Say the word.

You are an amazing person, as full of grace and style as any I know.

[signoftea]

I don't know what to say, so just *hugs*

[myuglyone]

I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love.