ext_59606 ([identity profile] kittylass.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] splix 2010-03-09 05:52 pm (UTC)

Gorgeous ♥ I love how you always paint the entire setting so well with details. And how you show Ranuccio here, which is so much how I see him too.
The way you explained why Michaeli might be attracted to Lena, and his own jealousy of her (not of Michaeli). I know Ranuccio is no innocent, but I felt for him, the way he held Michaeli's fascination and suddenly she takes it away (incomprehensible!).
It is kind of amazing that I felt so involved with the story of Ranuccio and Michaeli that the sailor didn't really matter, only as a means to spark Michaeli's interest. And I wanted it to work.

"No." Ranuccio turned his face to the wall and stared at the layers of peeling plaster. "She didn't." Anguish gnawed at his belly.

Owie :( But beautiful. Thank you :)

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