splix: (Default)
2017-07-19 10:57 am

hey ho, let's go

I've had that in my head since I saw Spider-Man, which was probably one of the best superhero movies I've seen in a couple of years. Zippy and fun and charming and not GRIMDARK oh god I'm so tired of grimdark at the moment. I guess it has its place, but it's not for me right now.

*

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I had a really nice weekend. I went out with some friends and saw The Beguiled which I liked - not the best movie I've seen this year but it was pretty and I sometimes really dig Nicole Kidman's chilly remove, and then I went to brunch with my sisters and had a ginormous Belgian waffle. Got a lot of lovely presents also.

Had chemo on the 10th and spent the rest of the week fucking sick. So fucking done with this mentally and emotionally, but only halfway through, unless the CT scan, which is on the 25th, shows that the chemo hasn't been working. So whatever, blah blah.

I spent the entire week alone and curled up in the dark [except for Nina, who is such a wonderful nanny dog, bless her] so when Sunday came and I actually felt well enough to walk around I immediately ran to some thrift stores and blew every penny of my birthday $$, and then went and spent the gift cards that I got. Part of it was just wanting to get out of the house, and I think part of it was some sort of oppositional perversity, a kind of fuck-you to isolation and illness, and then part of it was a kind of reaction to my eating disorder, always present but especially right now unable to indulge because almost everything I eat tastes like metallic garbage. Except ice cream and like cheese and butter, and I know I can't eat a fuckton of that stuff because of course it's the highest in calories, FML. [Vegetables are especially disgusting. I used to look forward to a giant salad every day; I still eat one because nutrients, but I choke it down, ugh] I couldn't eat, so I shopped. :-/

That said, I didn't break the bank [I can't. Chemo bills are a-comin']. I went to the Goodwill 99 cent store and got a couple of pairs of pants because mine are too big right now [I'm keeping the old ones because god knows what my body is going to do in the next couple of months]. I also got a couple of cool vintage dresses for fall. I went to the antique mall on Central and got two vintage handbags, and a tiny sweet navy hat that I'll be able to wear once my hair grows back again. Then I went to another antique store where I know the folks who run it - they were having a half-off sale on their bin costume jewelry, which is usually super-cheap anyway, like a dollar for a pair of earrings, so I got like seven pairs of earrings and four necklaces. Then I went to Sephora and got the Anastasia Modern Renaissance eye palette. OMG it is so beautiful. The textures are so creamy and the pigments are so intense. For the first time evah I watched a couple of tutorials on Youtube to get some pointers on how to combine some of the colors. Then I went to Savers and got a little painted concrete skull and some candles for fall, and a new king-size bottom sheet for my bed.

I'm reading a book called Glamour that is very resonant to me - it talks a lot about how glamour [of all stripes] tempts and feeds [never fully] unfulfilled longing and my particular brand of materialism. Made me laugh, ruefully, and I showed it to my therapist. We discussed a lot of it. She actually thinks I'm over-pathologizing my shopping because I don't spend enough to make a big dent in my finances, but I still feel guilty about spending any money for pleasure on myself, for having lots of pretty things because I grew up with very little, and we were always made to feel like there was never enough money for frivolities. It's complicated; I'm still working through it.

*

I haven't made any progress on my auction story. :-/ I mean, as excuses go I guess I have a good one, but I just want to keep going with it. I hate losing momentum. AAAAAARGGH. Going to make an effort this weekend, but still, RRRRRGHGHGHGHGH.

*

I hope everyone who went to Con*Strict had a great time. I am so sad to have missed it, but I'll be there with bells on next year. :D

*

Summer classes are almost over. Fall semester starts in four weeks. Tempus fugit. o.0
splix: curt and brian velvet goldmine (curt and brian)
2017-04-19 09:31 pm
Entry tags:

Hardly a Substitute

I finally threw all my Trainspotting fics onto AO3, as a whole set of linked ficlets in a single piece since they're nothing but PWPs.

Hardly A Substitute


So that's done!

Ugh, I have to remember how to do HTML tags again? I guess LJ spoiled me. :-/
splix: (sherlock sepia by govi20)
2017-04-13 09:13 am
Entry tags:

FIC: Heirs and Assigns [1/1]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warnings: Major Character Death/No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Sherlock - Fandom

Relationships: Mycroft Holmes & Uncle Rudy / Eurus Holmes & Mycroft Holmes

Characters: Mycroft Holmes,Uncle Rudy (Sherlock),Eurus Holmes

Additional Tags: Terminal Illnesses, child psychopathy

Language: English

Summary: Uncle Rudy sits Mycroft down for tea and a chat.

Heirs and Assigns
splix: (Default)
2017-04-05 09:53 am

LJ: last entry

Account Created on 22 January 2002 (#447316)


I am lazy, selfish, and sentimental.

I hate change, and I hate being inconvenienced even more. And as you can see from the above, I've been here on LJ for more than fifteen years. Nearly my entire fannish life has been spent here. I've made and strengthened friendships, indulged in pleasures, engaged in lively and sometimes heated conversation, and suffered losses [Govi and Mooms <3 <3 <3].

And I've told stories. Some fictional, some quotidian, some ranty, some from the deepest crevasses of my heart. In response to those stories, I've received great love and support in return - never more than when I was sick to the point of nearly dying [though those stories were often brief and full of horror]. Thank you for that. Thank you.

I never, ever wanted to leave here, even if the place was damn near moribund.

But this, for me, is untenable. Particularly the clauses pertaining to political activity and activities not in concordance with the laws of the Russian Federation. Now, they may not affect me directly at the moment. But I am a queer woman. And given the slippery language [not valid in English, you'll note; only in Russian], I have little doubt that the TOS will at some point directly affect my brothers and sisters in Russia and its surrounding states. Even now, police in Chechnya are murdering gay men in fascistic cleansing operations. And this persecution isn't news in Russia either.

[As an aside, I have a deep love of Russian culture and the language. Some day, I would like to visit - but not now, in this climate, not for years and years.]

So, knowing this, I can't in good conscience remain.

I'm migrating fully to Dreamwidth. You can find me there, same name.
If you want to say hi, please do. If you stay here, I'll miss you for sure, and no hard feelings at all. I'll let this journal lie dormant for a little while, then delete altogether.

Take care, everyone.

Love,

Alex
splix: (dior maquillage)
2017-03-07 09:54 am

Eee.



My book is now available at Amazon for 4.99 USD or comparable prices internationally. [ebook only - you can get a free Kindle app for any device]

You can also check me out at alexsorel.com. My nom de plume is in honor of my favorite literary hero. Sort of hero anyway. :D I am thinking of posting essay-type stuff there, the more thoughtful, meandery stuff I used to post here. We shall see. I have a couple of ideas brewing.

Whoo, this has been a long time in the making! It's been consuming most of my free time and thought as well, but it's finally done, yay. I feel like I can breathe again!

My next project is a Cabin Pressure fic for Sundayduck for Fandom Trumps Hate. We've been batting ideas around and I'm excited to start writing for her. I haven't written Cabin Pressure in a long time.
splix: (cumberbatch YES by verbal_judo)
2017-01-11 09:12 pm

signal boost for Fandom Trumps Hate

My offering is up.

Even if you don't bid on my work, have a look at the other contributors and consider bidding to raise money for any one of a number of very worthy causes!
splix: (sherlock oh hell)
2016-12-30 09:40 pm

Fucking god damn.

So who's leaving, who's staying?

I don't want to go. I've been here for almost fifteen years. But if nobody else is going to be here it hardly seems worth it. :(

Oh, and I spent two hours at urgent care tonight. I have a UTI. Yay. Feels swell.

I'd say what else can happen this year but we still have a day to go. Fuck.
splix: (dior maquillage)
2016-12-28 09:52 pm
Entry tags:

luminous being



All the celebrity deaths this year, and two made me cry: David Bowie, and Carrie Fisher.

I said this on the Book of Faces: Of all the princesses of my childhood, she was the bravest, the cleverest, the strongest, the most beautiful.

That was about Leia, of course. But Ms. Fisher was never anything but wittily gracious about her inadvertent and unexpected icon status. She dealt with addiction and mental illness for most of her life, and was the first person I ever knew of to meet mental illness head-on, with humor and grit and determination, instead of treating it like a dirty secret. That alone makes her a hero.

[Her mother, Debbie Reynolds, died today as well. The blows keep coming.]

She was funny. Oh lord was she funny. Here are 37 examples.

And as a kid, I idolized her. I was a major, major Leia fangirl, but I fangirled Carrie too. I'd get all excited over every mention of her I saw in newspapers or magazines or anything I'd see on TV. In the first grade, my mother made me a beautiful Leia costume for Halloween, boots and belt and all. My hair was down to my butt, long enough to do the cinnamon buns. My brothers loaned me a laser pistol. I was the bomb. I happily played Leia in the neighborhood Star Wars games with my friends Mark and Jeff [in costume, of course, until the thing didn't fit any more]. You can diss George Lucas for a lot of things, but Leia was no shrinking flower - she was a fantastic role model for little girls.

And Carrie Fisher was every bit as strong and brave and clever and beautiful as the princess she embodied, and I am so glad I was privileged to share the planet with her for a time.

Goodbye, bright star, you luminous being. I'll miss you.
splix: (winter)
2016-12-24 10:20 pm
Entry tags:

Happy Holidays!

A merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate, and a good day to everyone else.



Nina and me, giving kissy faces to everyone. :D

Well, I was going to try to do some writing, but I got a sore, tickly throat on Monday morning, started sneezing Monday afternoon, and had a full-blown head cold by Monday night. What a suckfest. It's pretty much run its course, but it made writing impossible. :( And I don't get sick often; it always feels like my body hates me [such a drama queen]. I pumped myself full of echinacea and vitamin C and tried to get as much sleep as I could. Not too much of a surprise - I was run down from work and not eating enough fruits and veg and there was crud going around anyway. BAH.

But I left work with a clean slate and a clean conscience and a bunch of gifts to be opened tomorrow evening when I get home from the family celebration. That's nice. :D

Yesterday I went to see Rogue One with my sister. Mostly, I really enjoyed it. minor spoilery remarks )

I want to see Hidden Figures and Manchester by the Sea, also Arrival. On TV I plan to watch Black Mirror and The Crown. This week while I was ill I watched Big Eyes with Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz and was genuinely confused by Christoph Waltz's performance. Was he trying to chew the scenery that hard, or...? Anyway, I liked it all right. Sort of mundane for a Tim Burton movie except that the film sort of dances around Margaret Keane's true reason for painting those creepy-kitschy big-eyed kids. I also watched the documentary Minimalism and enjoyed it. I'm no minimalist myself, not with my attachment to possessions, but I do try to consume thoughtfully for the most part.

*

Today I caught up on chores - laundry and cleaning. I baked some chicken for the week as well. Still didn't feel tip-top, so didn't take Miss Nina for a walk. Poor thing, I've been neglecting her exercise. It's a good thing she goes to my sister's during the week and runs about, otherwise she'd just be lying around all day. :(

Now the house is clean, I've watched It's a Wonderful Life and MST3K's Santa Claus and The Lion in Winter - it's time to crack open the bottle of Rogue Cow Cookies and Cream liqueur I got from one of the profs and catch up on tumblr, then fold a little laundry and head to bed with a book. Tomorrow it's dinner and presents at my sister's house.

So long, and happy holidays. :)
splix: (cumberbatch jamie jim bw)
2014-12-24 12:43 am
Entry tags:

tiny christmas fic

Hiya all,

I haven't checked LJ or tumblr yet because I'm here in PA and having a fantastic time, but I did write a tiny little Jamie/Jim [sort of] Christmas fic, and here it is:

A Letter Home

Best wishes to all!
splix: (ewan curt)
2014-04-08 11:04 pm

FIC: A Colder Blood Than You Possess

ollacurt

FIC: A Colder Blood Than You Possess
Author: Alex
Fandom: Crossover: Only Lovers Left Alive/Velvet Goldmine
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam/Curt Wild
Disclaimer: Neither film's concepts nor characters belong to me.
Summary: Kit Marlowe has a tale to tell.
Warnings: Blood drinking.

READ THE STORY HERE AT AO3.
splix: (cumberbatch benny martin by thblack)
2014-01-26 11:28 am
Entry tags:

FIC: Method Act [3/?]

Chapter 3 of Method Act is here. Please leave comments at AO3.
splix: (sherlock crop by wykling)
2014-01-16 11:10 pm
Entry tags:

FIC: Method Act [1/1]

Hiya,

I'm taking a leaf from [livejournal.com profile] emmagrant01's notebook - I've decided to post my fic to AO3 only, but will post updates here for those who don't subscribe to me or who don't go to AO3 as a matter of course. Please leave kudos and/or comments, should you desire, at AO3.


Title: Method Act
Author: Alex
Fandom: Sherlock/RPF
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Benedict Cumberbatch/Tom Hiddleston, Sherlock Holmes/Mark Gatiss, Benedict Cumberbatch/John Watson, Benedict Cumberbatch/Molly Hooper, Sherlock Holmes/Louise Brealey, Sherlock Holmes/Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch/Mycroft Holmes
Summary: Something very strange keeps happening at 7:35 PM.
Note: Inspired by a prompt on the Sherlock Rant Meme. Thanks, anon prompter. :)
Content/Tags: Bodyswap, Pseudoscience, Magic, Alternate Universe, Light BDSM, Case Fic, Peril, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Sexual Bondage, RPF, Implied Relationships, Stalking, Kidnapping


Many thanks to kimberlite for stellar beta and steadfast friendship.



CHAPTER ONE
splix: (sherlock mycroft holmes brothers)
2014-01-04 12:18 am
Entry tags:

FIC: A Purely Temporary Arrangement

Title: A Purely Temporary Arrangement
Author: Alex
Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/Mycroft Holmes
Summary: Just this once. One more time.
Word Count: ~2000
Warnings: Violence, incest, barebacking. Please see AO3 for complete tags.
I'm indebted to [livejournal.com profile] arianedevere for providing the transcript to pertinent scenes.

A Purely Temporary Arrangement )
splix: (christmas jamie jim)
2013-12-23 01:37 pm
Entry tags:

FIC: Past Three O' Clock

Title: Past Three O’ Clock
Author: Alex
Fandom: War Horse
Rating: Mature
Word Count: ~5200
Pairing: Jim Nicholls/Jamie Stewart
Disclaimer: War Horse and its characters are the property of Michael Morpurgo. No money is made, no harm intended.
Summary: Christmas 1920.
Warnings: Homophobia
Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] kimberlite for the sharp-eyed beta.


Past Three O' Clock )